Make Friends, Not Contacts

March 8, 2024

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Hey Friends,

Figured I change it up a bit for this newsletter and bring you some tips / advice on questions that I’ve been asked recently.

I’ve had some people reach out either the comments or direct messages asking me this question:

“How do you get your name out there?”

And rather just mention the generic “Put yourself out there more” I’d like to offer some tips on networking and creating connections for I feel this isn’t always touched on in the creative space.

In business we run into similar situations where we can to be recognized and we want to make the right connections, because having the right connections in whatever business you’re involved in can significantly help propel you forward.

There is a good book that I haven’t read yet but my dad has and it’s called “How to Make Friends” essentially it’s a book on how to be good at sales. My Dad has been in sales for his entire career, but knew nothing about sales when starting out.

From my own experience, not a book, I’ve learned that finding common ground with people is the quickest and easiest method to making a genuine connection.

Because I’m around a ton of cars usually when I take photos at these events, 99% of the people there like cars (1% are the infants that don’t know what’s going on lol).

When I take photos of a car and the owner is right next to it I always make the effort to walk up to them and chat. You may have seen this in some of my older Reels where I talk to the owner about their car.

These are conversations I generally start and I start off by complimenting their car. I don’t even introduce myself first. That feels odd and stale. I’ll ask them about the car because most of the time I don’t know anything about it, and I’ll just let them talk.

I like to follow a guideline I learned when I was a people manager and I’d conduct interviews or I’d be a panelist in a interview. That guideline is a 30/70 split. Meaning that I only talked 30% of the time and the interviewee would talk 70% of the time. Typically a Q&A style interview but the questions are open ended because we want the person being interviewed to be more elaborate with their answers.

Still following? Good.

I take this similar approach to talking to car owners. I like to hear them talk more about their car or themselves, and you’d be surprised at how much people will give you if you follow this method. Not everyone is compelled to talk a lot about themselves and their car, but that’s okay.

You just need to tip that scale a little bit and ask more open-ended questions.

Back to the common ground idea mentioned earlier, if you’re a car enthusiast and you’re talking to a car owner, that’s simple enough. But what if you’re not a automotive photographer?

Finding a common interest won’t be as easy, but it won’t be impossible. If you’re a creative in the space and you’re doing your work constantly, you’re going to run into people who are intrigued by it and may approach YOU. If this happens, just be open to conversation and geek out about what it is you’re doing.

You could mentioned something that triggers a key moment in their head of, “Oh I know exactly how this feels” or “Wow I’m also interested in X thing.”

I use this method in my job. When I meet someone new, which I work directly with Directors and Vice Presidents on a regular basis, I’m finding common ground in the most uncommon way, which is just talking about my personal interests and they do the same.

I’ll find something like a sport I used to play, video games, heck even comics and I don’t read them. Behind me on my wall I have a Deadpool poster and I’ve had SO many people over Zoom catch that and talk to me about Marvel.

When I would work at a suit store and fit guys for suits back in college I’d have random conversations with them about what event they’re going to, what job they have, and just learn about the person. I would end up talking to C Level Executives on the regular but I wouldn’t know who they were if I didn’t talk to them.

The common theme here is being comfortable with being an open book. Sharing too much is a thing, but sharing just enough to get a conversation going is the goal.

Next time you find yourself in a public situation where you can possibly network with new people, try approaching the conversation like you’re looking to make a new friend, not a business contact. People like to be treated like normal people. I talk to C level executives like normal people, online influencers like normal people, because they ARE normal people.

Befriend them and get to know them. Find that common interest or common ground and it’ll help build you that foundational relationship with that person.

Let me know if these tips were of any help to you. I’d love to know.

See you next week!

Joe

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